Priorities
by Inudaughter Returns
Summary: This one is a mild tragedy with a happy ending. Gerald and Helga don't always get along. But maybe, just maybe, Gerald will find that there are kids out there even meaner than Helga Pataki.
One of the great tragedies of life is that some people are plain just mean. Only some of them seem to be but aren't. The difference is subtle. But as Sheena later said about the whole unpleasant couple of days at P.S.118., it's all about the heart. Revenge should always be the least of one's priorities in life.

At about this time that the whole mess started, Gerald and Helga were feuding silently. Helga G. Pataki and Gerald Johanssen hadn't always gotten along so well. Mostly, it was because Helga was a bit of a bully, especially toward his best friend Arnold. On this morning, it wasn't going to be sunshine and roses between them, either.

"Out of the way, Tall Hair-boy!" said Helga with one hand on her hip and the other holding her schoolbooks tight to her side as she puffed out her chest. "I'm walking here!" Gerald pulled his head into his bus seat from the aisle he had been staring down, then grumbled under his breath.

"That Pataki! Always walking around giving orders to others!" he lamented. "I don't know how you stand her, Arnold!"

"Helga isn't all bad, Gerald," Arnold spoke up with unusual enthusiasm. Gerald rolled his eyes at his friend. Arnold was defending her. As usual.

"That's what you always say, Arnold! But I don't see her letting up on you any! She'll cut in line in front of you at lunch today as usual, you'll see!"

"Gerald," said Arnold dropping the subject with unusual weariness. He and Gerald had this argument a lot, it seemed, and he knew his best friend was only sticking up for him, in a fashion. Not that Gerald Johanssen dared to go up against Helga Pataki directly. No one did. With the exception of himself, perhaps. Arnold had dumped her in a pool once on April Fool's Day.

But Gerald's prediction about the Helga cutting in front of them at lunch was all too accurate. She zig-zagged herself next to Phoebe and snatched up the last chocolate pudding in a blink.

"See? You see that!" Gerald said, outraged. "She just stole your, pudding man!"

"Gerald," Arnold began in a voice full of weariness. "For once, let's just not talk about this today?" Arnold walked past the end of the lunch line and plopped down at a table, then unfolded the cardboard edges of his milk carton carefully with his thumbs.

"Why not?" said Gerald with unusual stubborness.

"Give her time, Gerald," Arnold said speaking quickly before downing some of his milk. He wiped the milk moustache it created from around his mouth. "I'm sure someday she will calm down and learn to be be more polite. Getting on her bad side isn't going to help anyone."

"Humph," said Gerald biting into his sandwich. Then his mood lightened considerably with a sudden thought.

"So, what are you bringing for 'show and tell' tomorrow?"

"Well, I have a few ideas," said Arnold brightening up considerably. "I might bring in something that I made. It's not like I have much use for it these days," Arnold said shrugging, "so it won't matter much if it… you know, gets broken." The time he had accidentally killed Eugene's fish at 'show and tell' weighed heavily on his mind. Arnold had learned an important lesson that day. Never bring anything truly special in to 'show and tell', or you'll end up losing it. But Gerald was off on a long speech about all the cool things he wanted to show off. Gerald loved the spotlight. So Arnold ate his sandwich quietly.

The next day Arnold and Gerald hung out on the school steps a good while before entering. Arnold pulled a small object out of his bag and revealed it to Gerald.

"See? I brought one of the first potato clocks I ever made," said Arnold fingering the delicate pieces. "Only I had to get a new potato for it, of course."

"I'll bet," Gerald remarked mildly. Then he grinned and pulled his own item for 'show and tell' from his bag.

"Check this out, man!" said Gerald stretching his arm out so that Arnold could see the object in his hand better before he gave it a lazy toss. "This baseball is cool, man! It's glow-in-the dark! The threads glow!" Arnold squinted his eye and looked down at the flourescent orange stitching.

"Really? I don't see it glowing!"

"That's because it isn't dark, man!" said Gerald. He cupped his hands to create shade and both he and Arnold tried to peer between his fingers so that they might see the promised glow. But in the daylight, it was impossible to tell.

"I don't know, Gerald," Arnold said still squinting into Gerald's hands between barely lifted fingers. "I think we'd better test it indoors instead."

"You're just jealous cause you don't got one!" said Gerald with a wide smile. He patted the new baseball in his hands fondly, then returned it to his school bag. Unlike Arnold, Gerald had no doubt the glow worked as advertised.

The school day was going fairly well enough. There were no quizzes, no long and difficult homework projects handed out. There was just a long history lesson to sit through.

"So, in conclusion," said Mr. Simmons wrapping up the day's history lecture. "The number of states in the Union increased dramatically a short span of time. I want you all to take home one of these sheets, then correctly color and label the geography of the times." Mr. Simmons passed around the simple homework assignment and then dismissed the class to lunch.

"So, Gerald. Arnold!" he said as the two boys paused by his desk. "Are you ready for 'show and tell'? I'm sure you've both brought something wonderful and unique! But remember, no pets!" Mr. Simmons shook a finger at them. Pets had been banned from 'show and tell' ever since that last incident where Helga's monitor lizard ate Arnold's pet parrot.

"No, I'm not bringing in a pet, Mr. Simmons," said Arnold digging out his potato clock from his desk.

"Well, that's just swell!" said Mr. Simmons eyeing the object. "I'm sure that everyone will just love your presentation! Yours, too, Gerald!"

"Yeah!" said the boy. He was not able to resist digging out the orange-seamed baseball and showing it Mr. Simmons early.

"Very nice, Gerald!" said Mr. Simmons with a friendly nod. He tapped some papers on his desk then laid them down carefully. "Now, if you need me, I'll be in the teacher's lounge. You two boys should go and eat lunch!"

"Yep," Arnold making his way toward the door. "You coming, Gerald?"

They both made their way out to the school cafeteria. Gerald narrowed his eyes and looked around, expecting Helga to appear suddenly for her near daily line-cut next to Phoebe. But both of the girls were strangely absent today. So were many of the girls of their class.

"Where's Phoebe?" Gerald said, wondering what had happened to his sweetheart.

"The girls are sitting outside on the park bench today," said Eugene amicably. "It's such a warm and beautifully sunny day outside, I can't wait to go outside myself!" Eugene swung his fist for extra enthusiasm.

It wasn't a bad idea. It had been rainy and dismal lately and now as Arnold and Gerald exited the school cafeteria, they too soaked in the radiant sunlight. Arnold lifted both arms above his head, linked his fingers, and gave his arms a crack. Then he made for the tetherball pole. He like to play the game sometimes, even if he had tied to the same pole once.

Gerald made his way straight to where the girls were sitting. Phoebe was still absent. Gerald must have been inquiring about her, because he and Helga spoke for a few minutes. Then Helga got up and threw her trash away and she, Rhonda, Nadine, and Sheena all got up on their feet and walked with Gerald back inside the cafeteria doors. Arnold did not think anything of it.

But when the last lunch bell rang, Arnold was surprised by the sight of their Principal, Mr. Wartz, standing in front of their classroom door, barricading it. Mr. Simmons and the school janitor stood inside looking at a broken window.

"I'm sorry, students," said Mr. Wartz waving them along. "I must ask you all to go to the library. You'll be holding your class there!" Behind Arnold, Nadine and Rhonda began to whisper. Confused and a bit anxious, all the students of Mr. Simmon's class made their way to library and crammed themselves along the few tables. A few of them them had to stand.

"What the heck is goin' on?" asked Stinky folding his hands together. Arnold looked around.

"Where's Gerald?"

"You mean you didn't hear?" asked Sid who was always up on the latest gossip. "Gerald broke the classroom window with his baseball! He's in the principal's office!"

"What?!" voiced Arnold in disbelief. "Gerald was just at lunch with all of us!"

"Well, I heard that Mr. Simmons and Lila came back to the classroom, and there was someone monkeying around in the room during lunch. He broke the window by accident. Then he ran before anyone could see who it was. But it had to be Gerald. It was his baseball. Mr. Simmons recognized it."

"Oh, come one!" said Arnold narrowing his eyes. "Gerald throwing his baseball inside the classroom? There's no way that could be true! Gerald has been my friend for years, and one thing I know for sure is he's the last one to be reckless!"

"Yeah? Who says?" said Sid, annoyed.

"Gerald's not stupid, Sid!" Arnold barked with a glare. Sid backed away from the angry Arnold and shook his hands in a placating gesture.

"Okay, okay! So you say it isn't Gerald! But if it wasn't Gerald, then who did it?"

"I don't know," said Arnold. "But I intend to find out!" The golden-hair boy marched toward the girls. But Rhonda, Nadine, and Sheena were all huddled around a note. Helga seemed to be arguing with the others.

"Uh, can I talk to you for a moment, Rhonda?" asked Arnold of the girl who was nearest.

"Uh, talk?" asked Rhonda jumping out of her seat with an unusually high-pitched voice. She hid the note in front of her. "No, no, I'm busy right now, Arnold!" she fled as rapidly as possible. So, too did all the other girls, except Helga. She let a long, furious exhalation out of her nose.

"Cowards!" said Helga looking at the backs of the retreating girls. "Oh, hey Arnold. What's shaking?"

"Helga?" asked Arnold softly. "I know Gerald was walking back inside with you and the girls. So he couldn't have been the one to break the window! You can tell Principal Wartz that, right?" Helga crossed her legs as well as her arms as she leant back again the hard cement of an exterior wall.

"I dunno if I can," said Helga. "I'll think about it. But the rest of the girls… they don't want me, too," said Helga rubbing her chin. "I can't say anything more about it right now, Arnoldo. Someone might be watching. So what you've got to do is go around school and find out if there was someone else it might be." Arnold stared back at Helga. There was something very fishy going on here.

"Okay," he said walking away.

It was a challenge now. Before their makeshift classroom was called to order, Arnold rushed over to plunk himself down in a seat next to Lila.

"Lila? Can I speak to you about something?" asked Arnold. "It's important.

"Gosh, Arnold?" Whatever could it be Lila said with her nervous laughter punctuating the air like an apostrophe. Arnold rolled his eyes. He no longer was so blind that he enjoyed these coy moments.

"Look, Lila. Did you and Mr. Simmons actually see the one who broke the window? How do you know it's not another person or an animal or something?" Arnold reasoned.

"Well," said Lila rolling her eyes up as she thought. "It's true Mr. Simmons and I didn't actually see who did it. I had just been talking with Mr. Simmons about a project I would like to do, ever so much! He and I were walking down the hall when we heard the crash. We entered the classroom but the lights were turned out and when we turned the lights on again, there was no one in the room with us!"

"So you didn't see anyone?" said Arnold rubbing a hand under his chin.

"No one," answered Lila with honesty. Arnold thanked her and walked to Mr. Simmons as he entered the room. But the teacher said exactly the same thing, then waved him to a seat as the class was called to order. Gerald returned to class soon enough. But Arnold could tell by the look on his face that his friend was angry.

"Four weeks, detention, man!" hissed Gerald after he had dropped down into a chair next to Arnold. "Talk about guilty before proven innocent! That Wartz is not a good man, Arnold! Not a good man at all!"

"I know. He did the same thing to Sid," said Arnold thinking back to the whole bar of soap incident they had gone through when Mr. Wartz had unfairly given Sid detention for a week. He was a harsh principal. Even Rhonda Lloyd had been given detention by him for merely getting paint on the floor.

"This just ain't justice, man!" complained Gerald. Arnold laid a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Just hold in there. I'll find out who really did it. And I'll prove you're innocent!" He and Gerald shared their friendship thumb shake.

But finding the real culprit was easier said than done. Class was letting out. Arnold took out a blue notebook and carried it with him onto the bus. He recorded notes in it as he interrogated all of the classmates riding the bus with him.

Gerald was stuck at detention of course. But Arnold called his best friend when he finally got home that night. Gerald sounded more furious than ever.

"This really bites, man. I had to clean floors!"

"With a toothbrush?" said Arnold. The story was sounding all too familiar.

"I don't know how I'm going to last, man. So, any ideas yet?" Arnold ran a finger through his unruly bangs.

"I haven't come across any leads yet. The only thing that's happened is that Helga told me to try. I know it wasn't you. I know this is a strange question to ask, but where was Phoebe when this happened? You two weren't having a fight or anything, were you?" asked Arnold. He could easily imagine himself and Helga accidentally breaking a window if they had a real riff and starting throwing things around or something.

"Nah of course not! Helga told me she had gone home early for some appointment. Her mother picked her up. Something about new glasses or something."

"So we know it wasn't Phoebe, either," said Arnold rubbing his chin some more.

"That still leaves a lot of people. It might not have even been someone in our class!"

"Maybe. But they used your baseball, Gerald. So maybe it was someone who knew what you you were keeping inside your desk."

"Curly?" asked Gerald.

"Maybe," said Arnold. "Look, it might even be one of the girls. They were all acting... I dunno, strange, today."

"Strange how?"

"They were all reading a note or something." Gerald whistled.

"Well, I'm going to go through my notes," said Arnold reflecting on the mystery. "I'll call you back if I think of something. Try to get some rest."

"Okay, Arnold," Gerald reluctantly agreed before hanging up the phone. Arnold pulled up a chair by his desk and switched the lamplight on. True to his word, he poured over it. At a late hour, the phone rang and Arnold picked it up.

"Hello?" he said wondering who would call him this late.

"Arnoldo, how's it shaking?" said Helga repeating the greeting she had used earlier with him in the day. Arnold stood up tall on his feet.

"Helga? Why are you calling?"

"To tell you something I couldn't in person. Just in case someone is listening. Look, the reason the girls didn't want to talk to you today is because they know Gerald is innocent. And they know who did it."

"But why not tell the principal about it, then?" Helga's breath took on a sorrowed little sigh.

"It's because Gerald's baseball wasn't the only 'show' and tell item' that he took. He stole all the girl's stuff, too, and he's keeping them ransom. Juvenile, right?"

"Wait a minute," said Arnold with disbelief. "Does that mean he stole something of yours, too?"

"Don't worry about it, Football-Head," said Helga. "It was my mistake bringing it in. It's not worth letting Gerald getting the blame for the window over."

"Wow, Helga," said Arnold speaking into the phone slowly as he searched for his words. "That's really kind of you!"

"What's so nice about it?" said Helga. "I've got my pride as a human being to consider, you know. Just the same, I'd rather you didn't tell him outright it was me who snitched."

"Right," said Arnold. "Snitch on who?"

"Wait by the corner by Slausen's Icecream around 4:30, tomorrow. Or alternatively," said Helga listing a few other times and locations before she outright stated an address that was familiar to Arnold.

"Iggy?!" Arnold said with raw shock.

"Bingo," said Helga. "You are a bright one, aren't you? In more ways than one. That hair, I mean."

"Thanks," said Arnold too busy thinking to dwell long on that Helga had just given him a rare compliment.

"So what's next?" asked Helga across the phoneline. "Sneak into his locker? Follow him home and swipe the goods?"

"You'd really do all that?" asked Arnold, already guessing at an answer.

"Wouldn't you?"

"Well, let's just confront Iggy about it tomorrow morning. No more of this sneaking around or ransoms. It's only a few possessions," said Arnold. Helga drew in a deep breath.

"Well, personally I don't think this is going to go down well. I think subterfuge would be a better path, but hey, if that's really how you want to do this. Just don't some crying to me when Miss Rhonda Lloyd chews you to ribbons for losing her fashion design portfolio."

"Right," said Arnold. He wished Helga a goodnight and carefully hung the phone back up into its cradle. Then he called up Gerald to tell him the good news.

The next morning, Arnold and Gerald leant on either side of the fence posts leading into the playground at P.S. 118. They both wore shades for the occasion. A curious Helga crouched nearby out of view. As Iggy approached, his "bouncers" held out their hand and barricaded the way.

"What's in the bag, Iggy?" said Gerald lowering his shades an inch.

"Nothing!" said the boy clutching his bag to his chest. Arnold's face grew furious.

"I can't believe you, Iggy!" Arnold raged. "I can't believe you'd stoop to a new low!"

"It was an accident!" said Iggy clutching his bag nearer. "I didn't mean to break the window! I was just trying to have some fun!"

"So that's your excuse for causing grief to the ladies? You make me sick! You'd better believe that your parents are going to get a call from my parents!" said Gerald pointing a finger at the frowning boy. He backed up.

"How'd you find out? No one was supposed to know! Helga!" said the boy walking backwards into a trashcan and knocking it over to reveal the girl behind. Helga brushed the dust off her clothes and folded her arms.

"Yeah, so?"

"You'll pay for ratting me out!" said Iggy bolting into a run in the other direction. Arnold and Gerald ran after him.

"Man!" said Gerald as they skidded to a stop. "This kid is more unhinged than Curly!" They paused as they saw Iggy lean over a fence with a bit of fabric in his hand.

"NO!" screamed Helga as she skidded to a stop behind the two boys. But it was too late. Iggy had already cast the bit of fabric into the water.

"Argh! Why you!" said Helga grasping Iggy by his shirt front and hefting him high. She balled her hand into a fist and angled for his face. But a warm, familiar hand caught hold of her fist, while another pair of arms caught her around her other elbow, grasping her firmly, interrupting her motion.

"Stop!" said Arnold with a commanding voice. "Don't do it, Helga. Remember two wrongs don't make a right!"

"Let me hit him!" Helga cried. "Please, just let me hit him!"

"Helga," said Arnold taking that tone with her that threatened he'd go into a lecture. Slowly, Helga let Iggy's violet shirt front down from her grasp. The cretin scrambled to his feet and ran away with one last, cowardly look behind him. Helga turned away from Arnold with a whirl. Instead she walked to the river's edge and peered down into it in case her lost item might still be found. Then, within a moment, her face crumpled up and she lifted her hands up to cover her face. Arnold and and Gerald were both astonished when the girl let out a choking sob. They looked at each other, their own faces feeling concern and guilt. Arnold walked a few steps forward and placed his hand on Helga's shoulder as she leant on the chain link fence.

"I'm sorry, Helga. Whatever it was, it must have been really important to you, huh?" Helga's sobs slowed, then stifled. She whirled around, dragging a finger across her puffy eyes. Her arms crossed defensively.

"Not that it's any of your business, Arnoldo, but yeah. It was my very first pink ribbon. I wore it in the rain and…. someone complimented me on it… that day. I've worn a pink ribbon ever since," Helga said slowly as if to keep the tears at bay. Her head still hung and her limbs drooped without energy to move them. She sniffed.

"I'm sorry, Helga," said Arnold. "I just want you to know I really admire what you did for Gerald."

"Me too!" said Gerald speaking up at last. "I mean, you and I haven't always liked each other too much, Pataki. But what you did here today for me, well. It was solid and I want y'all to know that. You're alright in my books," said Gerald offering the pink-clothed girl a handshake. She accepted it silently but the barest bit of a smile ghosted her lips.

"You're alright, too, Tall Hair-Boy," said Helga returning a bit to her old, loud, proud self. "Well, I guess I'd better go check my locker for a granola bar or something to eat. All this excitement has got me starvin'!" Helga turned and stomped back towards the school. Arnold watched walk ahead of them, his eyes wide and thoughtful.

The day following, when the first bell ran at P.S. 118, Arnold was slow getting into his seat. He carried a small, stamped, paper gift bag such as one gets at department stores and set it on the desk before him. Then he waited for Helga Pataki to file into her desk, her book pressed against her heart and a weary, almost emotionless expression drawn across her face. Arnold lifted up the paper bag from his desk by its handles. Then he stood and walked over to Helga at her desk.

"Hey, Helga," the golden-haired boy said reaching into the bag. He pulled out a box with fancy print on it.

"I know you lost your bow the other day," Arnold began. He awkwardly set the box down on her desk, then used his thumbs to open it. "So I got you a new one. I know it's not the old one, so it's not the same, but… this one's French. Since you like French stuff, I thought you'd like it." Helga looked down at the pink bow inside in awe. It definitely wasn't her old silk bow. This one was extra wide. The pink velvet even had a patch of metallic thread woven into the fabric.

"Wow, Arnold!" said Helga not daring to take it out of the box. But Arnold stared, his eyes pleading for some sign of acceptance like a puppy dog's. So she lifted it from the box and used it to replace the current ribbon in her hair. Then, feeling the charm of a good purchase, Helga patted it smugly.

"So, Football-Head. Tell me. How's the new bow look?"

"I like your bow," said Arnold. "It's beautiful."

"Bah! You're just saying that because you picked it!" said Helga giving Arnold a small, friendly punch to his shoulder. Arnold just grinned.

"Maybe," he said returning to his desk before the second bell starting class sounded. But when Arnold looked away to read his schoolbooks, Helga cupped her chin her hand and stared at the back of his head. Helga let out a long, deep, happy sigh. With this new bow, maybe she could deal with losing the first one, after all! The end.


End file.
